Do you ever have those moments where your perception of reality is greatly scued? I usually have these moments when an anniversary occurs, or a birthday. I am forced to recognize the year, and in that moment I realize how much time has passed. Then that realization proceeds with a, “What have I been doing with my life?!”
35 is his new number…yes, simply a number. Not a definition, not a new health benefit bracket…a number. A number that he is wearing extremely well…even better than when his number was 21. Don’t get me wrong, he wore 21 like nobody’s business…after all, that was his number when I looked at his face and knew I was going to marry this man…but as the years have passed, I have appreciated him more and more. It’s cliché to say, yet there is a great deal of truth to that statement. Growing up alongside your spouse is not easy. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but it still hasn’t been easy.
When I think about the fact that I have been with this man for 14 years, married almost 11 of those years, my heart feels full and content. I’ve watched him mature…I’ve watched him struggle…I’ve been with him through his failures, and I’ve rejoiced with him in his accomplishments. We have shared many different moments together, but there are a few things about him that have remained the same, and that is his hilarious sarcasm, his brutal honesty, his haircut…yes, I said haircut!…his generosity, his servant’s heart, his integrity, and most of all, his love for God. He doesn’t let his career define him…it simply adds to him. He’s a leader in every aspect of his life, and I admire his driven nature. He goes from zero to ten in seconds, but has one of the biggest hearts.
This past weekend, we got to celebrate his birthday. He thinks he’s getting old, but I say, “35 looks good on you babe.” Cheers to the love of my life, the father of my children, and one of our community’s finest.
Six years ago, I discovered a whole new side of love. A love so selfless, unwavering and unconditional. The day I said, “I do,” was a magical and indescribable day. I remember thinking that my heart was finally full…at complete capacity for this man standing next to me. I never knew the heart was capable of compartmentalization until September 3, 2009 at 2:40am. This was the moment my heart exploded out of my chest as I looked into the eyes of my firstborn son. At that second I knew my life would be forever changed. As I laid in awe of God’s gift, I glanced over at my husband, whose smile lit up the room…he too knew that this love was a love like no other…instantaneous and perfect.
After 72 hours of labor and extreme complications, it was completely worth it. Don’t get me wrong, they were the worst 72 hours of my life, but at the exact minute I saw him, my heart melted and I knew I would do it all over again. From the moment he started walking at 10 months old, I knew this beautiful boy who would scream at the top of his lungs just to hear the sound of his own voice in the middle of Target, would give us a run for our money. He’s incredibly intelligent and unbelievably stubborn. His athletic ability amazes me…We have video of him hitting off a baseball tee at one years old with a paci in his mouth…he definitely gets that from his daddy. He tests boundaries beyond belief, and makes me question my parenting skills on a weekly basis. Yet, when he out of the blue says, “I love you mama,” all those frustrations go to the waste side. He has our love for music, and my love for dance. He already has such a great sense of humor, and he never ceases to amaze me with his creativity.
This past weekend we celebrated his sixth birthday…I feel like his birthday comes faster and faster each year. I don’t remember what life was like before he was born…wait, yes I do. Those were the times I could sleep in and take Sunday afternoon naps without hearing the sound of mini police cars zoom by my bedroom door! But in all seriousness, God has truly blessed us with Javan…I am so honored that God chose me to be his mother, and has allowed me to have a front row seat to his life’s journey. He truly is one of a kind!