Six years ago, I discovered a whole new side of love. A love so selfless, unwavering and unconditional. The day I said, “I do,” was a magical and indescribable day. I remember thinking that my heart was finally full…at complete capacity for this man standing next to me. I never knew the heart was capable of compartmentalization until September 3, 2009 at 2:40am. This was the moment my heart exploded out of my chest as I looked into the eyes of my firstborn son. At that second I knew my life would be forever changed. As I laid in awe of God’s gift, I glanced over at my husband, whose smile lit up the room…he too knew that this love was a love like no other…instantaneous and perfect.
After 72 hours of labor and extreme complications, it was completely worth it. Don’t get me wrong, they were the worst 72 hours of my life, but at the exact minute I saw him, my heart melted and I knew I would do it all over again. From the moment he started walking at 10 months old, I knew this beautiful boy who would scream at the top of his lungs just to hear the sound of his own voice in the middle of Target, would give us a run for our money. He’s incredibly intelligent and unbelievably stubborn. His athletic ability amazes me…We have video of him hitting off a baseball tee at one years old with a paci in his mouth…he definitely gets that from his daddy. He tests boundaries beyond belief, and makes me question my parenting skills on a weekly basis. Yet, when he out of the blue says, “I love you mama,” all those frustrations go to the waste side. He has our love for music, and my love for dance. He already has such a great sense of humor, and he never ceases to amaze me with his creativity.
This past weekend we celebrated his sixth birthday…I feel like his birthday comes faster and faster each year. I don’t remember what life was like before he was born…wait, yes I do. Those were the times I could sleep in and take Sunday afternoon naps without hearing the sound of mini police cars zoom by my bedroom door! But in all seriousness, God has truly blessed us with Javan…I am so honored that God chose me to be his mother, and has allowed me to have a front row seat to his life’s journey. He truly is one of a kind!